... and I hate this. I really really hate this.
So I'm quitting. I don't want to be doing this anymore. I don't want to be a widow anymore.
The DGIs expect us to be over it in a year. Well, I've always been precocious. Here I am at 11 months, and I officially declare myself: OVER IT.
I'm done grieving. I'm done crying. I'm done noticing that there's a huge hole where my heart used to be. I'm done thinking about all the things we should be doing together. I'm done looking at my boys and thinking of their tremendous loss. I'm done with the whole thing. I'm done done done.
I always manage to find the words to comfort and encourage other people, but there really are no such words. I always manage to have the listening ear for whatever someone needs to say, but there really is nothing to say. I always remember to pray for those I love, but I really cannot pray for myself.
So I quit. I hereby renounce my membership in this stupid STUPID club that I didn't want to join anyway. Can I have my membership fee back? Please? It really was too high a price to pay, and I really don't want to be here.
Please. PLEASE. Please let me go home, let me go back to my old life. Please give him back to me. That's all I ask. Please.
My beloved is mine, and I am his.
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3 comments:
me,too.
God please help this precious woman. Father bring him back to her. Lord fix it.
In Jesus name amen,
Ana Ray
It is three years & this is exactly how I feel about losing my husband Chuck after twenty years of marriage. I am only 53 with no kids & dont understand why I have been left alone. it should have been me.
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