I'm part of this group as well. Nick went into surgery to biopsy the monster in his brain, and he never woke up. I was at his bedside almost 24 hours a day for 4 days. I wept as I said goodbye to him, hoping and believing and praying that he could hear me. I wept for all the things we didn't have a chance to say to each other, the things you would say if you knew...
But the truth is that he and I said those things every day, we lived them every day. We were always so loving and gentle with each other. In 13 years together, we never called each other an ugly name, we never failed to kiss each other good morning and good night, we never went a day without saying "I love you" again and again, we never went a day without praying to God in thanksgiving.
Do I wish he and I could have talked about the monster in his brain, about my future without him? Yes. Do I wish we could have told each other how much we loved each other and how grateful we were for each other? Yes. Do I wish I could have gotten one last kiss? Yes. Do I wish we could have said "Goodbye, and see you at the heavenly banquet"? Yes.
Do I believe that he knew I was there, that he could hear my voice and feel my love? Absolutely. Take comfort in the love that bound your hearts together. How could the person who knew more about you than anyone else in the world, the person to whom you revealed your truest self -- How could that person NOT know you were there, NOT hear your voice, NOT feel your love?
Take comfort for love is stronger than death, and just as a part of your heart went with him, a part of his heart stays here with you.
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